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December 15, 2014

Why Marriage Isn't A 50-50 Relationship

Question: Dr. Dobson, would you be more specific about the relationship between the sexes? Am I to assume you do not favor a fifty-fifty arrangement in the husband-wife interaction?

Answer: That is correct. However, let me offer two opinions about the ideal relationship between husbands and wives that may clarify my viewpoint. First, because of the fragile nature of the male ego and a man's enormous need to be respected, combined with female vulnerability and a woman's need to be loved. I feel it is a mistake to tamper with the time-honored relationship of husband as loving protector and wife as recipient of that protection. 

Second, because two captains sink the ship and two cooks spoil the broth, I feel that a family must have a leader whose decisions prevail in times of differing opinions. If I understand the Scriptures, that role has been assigned to the man of the house. However, he must not incite his crew to mutiny by heavy-handed disregard for their feelings and needs. He should, in fact, put the best interests of his family above his own, even to the point of death, if necessary. Nowhere in Scripture is he authorized to become a dictator or slave-owner.

Other combinations of husband-wife teamwork have been successful in individual families, but I've seen many complications occurring in marriages where the man was passive, weak, and lacking in qualities of leadership. None of the modern alternatives has improved on the traditional masculine role as prescribed in the Good Book. It was, after all, inspired by the Creator of mankind.

From Dr. Dobson's book Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide.

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